Q is for Question = Do I suffer?
Wednesday, 15 February 2012
suffer Asperger = Q
There is a term used for most conditions and disease which goes also the line of ‘suffers from’ or such and such suffers. So I terms of As and Autism it would be Asperger’s sufferer, or suffers from autism. But what is to suffer, the dictionary reference [.com] defines suffering as to undergo or feel pain or distress, to sustain injury, disadvantage, or loss and to endure pain / disability.
So by definition I suffer from Asperger Syndrome, but in reality do I actually suffer?
Yes I do, I suffer the ill effects of poor diet because my AS only allows me to eat certain things, I suffer the effects of skimming when I run up the stairs and sprain my ankle, I suffer the continuous injury’s that are a result of being clumsy and knocking into things. I suffer from the confusion and disappointment in myself for not understanding situations, I suffer from OCD and having to have things a set way, I suffer from the inability to process or function without completely following routine, I suffer from meltdowns when over stimulated, I suffer from acute hearing and tinnitus cause a contestant white noise continuously. My social life suffers from lack of relationships and friendships. Taking all these things out of it, I suffer due to other peoples Prejudice and lack of understanding, from other people bulling and manipulation. I suffer from other peoples stereotyping and pre-assumptions
However I also suffer from the delight of a photographic memory, the instinct to do things right and follow rules, the ability to absorb all the information and quickly come up with a solution. I suffer from enjoying live, from the freedom AS has given me in allowing to be myself and express myself however I chose, I suffer from the creative aspects that I have acquired, I suffer from the comfort I find in the condition and the happiness I gain from it. Suffer with the intelligence As brings and being able to remember random facts and knowledge. I suffer because I will never judge you, I will always accept you for who you are and what you do.I suffer determination and enuthisam to be the best I can be and achieve whatever I want, in the knowledge that I can do it and nothing is going to prevent me.
However, for all I may suffer from any condition disease or condition, I suffer just as much as an NT suffers their own neurology and their own personality, and their own weaknesses however equally they celebrate their strength that they also ‘suffer’ from.
I am happy with how I am and what I am, to a neuro-typical person they can view my life and my condition as suffering from, however I say unless you have lived in the shoes of A person with Asperger’s syndrome you do not know what I may suffer from, and you never will know. Just how I equally do not know what living in a neuro-typical world is like.
I my eyes I do not suffer with AS as AS does not define who I am, I make me who I am, I just happen to have Asperger syndrome. Just as I equally have Two eyes and two legs. And just like my eyes and my legs, I wouldn’t change anything for the world.