Wednesday, 15 February 2012

suffer Asperger = Q



Q is for Question = Do I suffer?


There is a term used for most conditions and disease which goes also the line of ‘suffers from’ or such and such suffers.  So I terms of As and Autism it would be Asperger’s sufferer, or suffers from autism.    But what is to suffer, the dictionary reference [.com] defines suffering as to undergo or feel pain or distress, to sustain injury, disadvantage, or loss and to endure pain / disability.

So by definition I suffer from Asperger Syndrome, but in reality do I actually suffer?  

Yes I do, I suffer the ill effects of poor diet because my AS only allows me to eat certain things, I suffer the effects of skimming when I run up the stairs and sprain my ankle, I suffer the continuous injury’s that are a result of being clumsy and knocking into things. I suffer from the confusion and disappointment in myself for not understanding situations, I suffer from OCD and having to have things a set way, I suffer from the inability to process or function without completely following routine, I suffer from meltdowns when over stimulated, I suffer from acute hearing and tinnitus cause a contestant white noise continuously. My social life suffers from lack of relationships and friendships.   Taking all these things out of it, I suffer due to other peoples Prejudice and lack of understanding, from other people bulling and manipulation. I suffer from other peoples stereotyping and pre-assumptions

However I also suffer from the delight of a photographic memory, the instinct to do things right and follow rules, the ability to absorb all the information and quickly come up with a solution.  I suffer from enjoying live, from the freedom AS has given me in allowing to be myself and express myself however I chose, I suffer  from the creative aspects that I have acquired,  I suffer from the comfort I find in the condition and the happiness I gain from it.  Suffer with the intelligence As brings and being able to remember random facts and knowledge.  I suffer because I will never judge you, I will always accept you for who you are and what you do.I suffer determination and enuthisam to be the best I can be and achieve whatever I want, in the knowledge that I can do it and nothing is going to prevent me.

However, for all I may suffer from any condition disease or condition, I suffer just as much as an NT suffers their own neurology and their own personality, and their own weaknesses however equally they celebrate their strength that they also ‘suffer’ from.

I am happy with how I am and what I am, to a neuro-typical person they can view my life and my condition as suffering from, however I say unless you have lived in the shoes of A person with Asperger’s syndrome you do not know what I may suffer from, and you never will know. Just how I equally do not know what living in a neuro-typical world is like.

I my eyes I do not suffer with AS as AS does not define who I am, I make me who I am, I just happen to have Asperger syndrome. Just as I equally have Two eyes and two legs. And just like my eyes and my legs, I wouldn’t change anything for the world.

4 comments:

  1. What a great post - thank you. I've often thought that most things can be viewed in both a positive and negative light and you have brilliantly explained how that works in terms of your experience of AS/autism. I hope you continue to be able to rejoice in the pluses that AS/ autism brings to you and that the negatives - caused often by others' words and actions - can be minimised as far as possible. As you say, we all have our crosses to bear and our strengths to support us, whoever we are.

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  2. thanks very much for your comments! the post came out of a debate in work about how to tell people you have a medical condition as appose to a long term disability, and found that most people outside of the medical profession use the term 'suffer from' and whether that term actually describes the condition.
    hope you have enjoyed the blog.

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  3. Thank you for your post, I think AS has both negative and positive traits, and their implications can also vary depending on your environment and the people who you talk to. I get annoyed when people only say the bad things about it, there needs to be more balanced discussions.

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  4. Great post. I use exactly the same phrase to describe it - that I have it rather than suffer from it. Sure, all social minorities suffer more than those who easily fit in, regardless of the reason for being in that minority (except the filthy rich, perhaps ;o).
    I wouldn't change it either.

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