Monday, 30 July 2012

darkness / nighttime

I like darkness, as in pitch black can’t see anything at all darkness. However I also can be very uncomfortable in darkness.   And therefore it can be a tale of two half’s.

To minimise sensory overload from light, complete darkness is needed, in my bed room, I have black out blinds and blackout curtains, and sleep with and eye mask and a cover over my head to block light out completely... doesn’t help there being a street light outside my window!!  But without taking all these measures I cannot get to sleep, because the tiniest bit of light irritates me and I end up focusing and becoming transfixed by it.

but at the same time the darkness scares me, it could be due to a tad bit of paranoia, or due to scary films I watched as a kid, but I’m petrified of things appearing in the night, something being under the bed, or even a burglar breaking in unseen under the cover of night. My hearing becomes over sensitised and I can hear every tiny detail that goes on and jump out the skin with every unexpected noise. I realised recently that my neighbours have friends staying with them and can now hear their footsteps as they walk around the house, spookily they sound as if they as walking up and down my hall.

I wish I could have a night light on constantly, however I can’t sleep with any source of light, therefore I have got a digital clock [the sound of clocks ticking annoys me] that lights up to show you the time.. Anyway, it lights up with this blue light, kind of like a sci-fi-y the colour, and illuminates the whole room for 3 seconds, which is great... although after i knocked it off the bedside table it doesn’t keep the right time anymore, but still works to startle would be burglars that could possibly be hiding in my room... and yes, i do have to check under the bed as well... after all that is where i would hide... although my socks would properly stink them out!

the message I’m trying to get across in this is that you can love and hate something equally at the same time, and just because one thing might be great, e.g. darkness for sleeping, it might not be the best for others [e.g. seeing people hiding under your bed... its people I’m scared off, not monsters or anything...] and therefore sometimes a compromise between the conflicting sensory issues or fears needs to be established.. After all, things do go bump in the night!

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